Don’t run.

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Dear Soul,

I know that with every single day you lose your breath. I am trying to create for you an abyss, maybe you can hide from this world.  If you can wait for me a little longer I will take you in that place where you should be. I can feel that you are afraid of this world, of these fake people who pretend to be real, afraid of this life. I can feel you in every single second. I am afraid too.

I know, you cannot breathe in this city, and I am so scared to lose you. Every single morning has the same reason, and you know that in your place it is autumn almost.  I close my eyes for a moment, in that only moment I feel how time passes through me. The sky dies in every single sunset, the sunset dies in every shade of moon, and I lose myself in the ocean. Just the ocean can listen how my soul sunken and cries out loud.

I can’t escape. Don’t run from me. I will give to you silence from shades of a moon, piano, sky, and ocean, but don’t run. I will give you peace, the one that you have been looking for. I will give you words, in all the languages. I will stay still with you until late, I will be honest and no one and nothing will change me.

I am nothing without you. I’m nothing, just bones. A lonely ghost burning down songs of violence, of piano, autumn, love, and sorrow. I’m just a broken piece.

Sometimes I just can’t breathe without you. I am so scared about this life and how people can use each other. I was used, and still, I have nothing to use. I am down, down.

I am scared that I will never find who I am. Who I am really? One day I will be so tired to wake up. I am so scared that I will never go where I want to be. I am scared to lose my soul.

I feel pain in all my body, like rust that is in all my bones, my veins and breathe even. I feel pain in my mind when I am trying to sleep. I have all my fragile spine broken, all my memories are broken. They ask me to smile, I can hide all my fears, of course, I can.

I know you want to run. If I could, I would run with you. But wait, this city won’t destroy us.

 

Fragile Spine.

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Avem frageda maduva spinarii, impartita-n spatii cu cutit,

Blestemati sa purtam in spinare, timpul in mii de secole impartit,

Respiratii taiate pana-n pamanturi, ne intalnim in luna si intr-un lac,

Unde seara la sfarsit de viata, ne ingropam cuvintele in veac.

Tu prea trista, obosita-n taina, raspunzi timpului grabit,

Eu mancata de singuratate, n-am nici liniste de apus si rasarit.

Plangem in roua diminetii, ce in soapta cade pe pamant,

Urma ei pe suflet ne tot lasa, amintire noastra si un gand.

Ne luptam in lumi tot diferite, si ne zbatem sa iesim la mal,

Radacini de toamna sufocata, esti spatiul care il mai am.

Si cadem in nostalgia toamnei, ne tot frangem intr-un apus,

Ostenite sa respiram printe cuvinte, sa spunem lumii ce demult n-am spus.